An Initiation

I'm a new author, but I'm not a new author, y'know? I've cowritten a couple dozen romance novels with my best friend, and some of them were published with reputable small presses before the changing publishing economy with the advent of Kindle Unlimited doomed the indie publishers we worked with. After that, we self-published, and the urge I'd had to share my work ebbed. Life got in the way.

It's complicated, isn't it? I'm here with a new pen name–but this time it's not just a pen name. This is my name, but not a legal name. In Texas, where I've lived all my life, trans men like myself have a target on our backs. To change my name and gender marker on my documents is impossible, and to attempt it lands me on a List. You don't want to be on a List, not with things the way they are.

But I've been Will since before I knew I was a man. The name came to me before the gender. I'm an Xennial. The only trans guy I'd heard of was Chaz Bono, and no shade to Chaz, but I didn't see myself in him. I'm not Cher's kid, and I've never been what the family I was born to called "coastal elites"... What Chaz could do didn't seem within my reach.

His journey wasn't relevant to my own.

Or so I thought.

It turns out that he's tribe to me, and that he's a trans elder... Not just tribe, but someone for me to look up to. By that same token, now I'm in my mid-forties and have the privilege of passing, I hope to be a tribal elder for others. It's why I've rediscovered my passion for writing, and it's why I want to do it under my true name.

If you're queer and looking for community, if you're hoping to be seen rightly and recognized for who you truly are, if you want to read stories about you, then you've come to the right place. In my everyday life, I'm a dad. That is my highest calling. And I want to be a friend and confidant to my peers and that gay trans dad/mentor to the younger generations.

It's taken me over a decade to find myself and get comfortable with what I found. I've had therapy language weaponized against me and made choices in my life and my writing I would change if I could. I've lost religion and found my own spirituality, and I've struggled with my masculinity and sexuality. I've been a good boyfriend and a bad boyfriend, a good friend and a bad friend. Through it all, I've learned what it is to be human on a level that I think writers who've never been marginalized struggle to understand.

I watched #OwnVoices come and go, witnessed the mainstreaming of m/m romance, and lost rights some people didn't know I even had. As a disabled American, I continue to fight for accommodations, and as a queer one trapped in a red state and too impoverished to move or even access the care I need to thrive, I rage against the systems of oppression that dehumanize me.

Maybe, somehow, as I reclaim my voice and share my fiction and my thoughts, I'll find traction that empowers me to change my world. I don't need to change yours, too, but I will if you let me. If you find that a compelling prospect, join my free mailing list to stay in touch. Let's get lost and see what we find.